Throw Off These Mortal Chains

Or "A Sunday in Hell with a chain splitter"

So, a few weeks ago I decided my Genesis Skyline, my commuter bike chain was too slack. It seemed to flap around a bit, and at >30mph down Madingley rise I was worried it would jump off, and jam the back wheel. It's fixed wheel, so that could have been ugly.

Sunday dawned bright and early, and by 10am I was ready to start. I had the bike in the bike stand in the back garden and I was good to go.

Plan A: Take up the slack
Well, that was never a goer. I tried taking the slack up in the track end but alas the chain had worn too much.

Plan B: remove a link from the chain

If you've never done it, DON'T. OK so splitting a chain is easy. You get a tool which looks like a thumb screw and you push the little rivet but WHATEVER you do, don't let the rivet fall out.

So, the rivet fell out. And I lost two in the lawn.

And it took me an hour with glasses, a pair of tweezers, a chain splitter and a lot of swearing to push the rivet back in. That was a start. Finally got the chain linked and on the bike.  Put the rear wheel back in and.....

The chain's too tight. I couldn't get the chain over the sprockets. Not by a little, but by a long way.

Plan C: Put the link back in and suck it up. That involves splitting the chain, adding the section I'd removed and fastening two rivets. Well, that was more fun. Didn't, fortunately lose any more rivets but it wasn't going well. Looking at the butchering I'd done with the rivet I decided to go for Plan C. Doesn't time fly when you're having fun? It's now 4 hours in, 14.00 so it's time to put the dinner on, get into town, get a new chain from Halfords.

Plan D: A new chain. Bought a chain. Went to Halfords, they didn't have the chain I wanted, they said. So I got sent to Station Cycles, at the other end of town, who sold me a chain . It's not going well so far is it? Well, here's where it gets even more fun. I got sold the wrong chain. Even though I'd told them the bike they gave me a 3/32" width 8 speed chain, when what I need is a 1/16" track chain. So, back I go to Halfords to buy the chain I needed which they didn't have. It's now 16.00, my hands are filthy and I'm switching between cleaning hands, making a full roast dinner and trying to get the damn chain on.

Did I mention that when I put the cooker on timer, it didn't start? Oh, I didn't? So I've got a broken cooker trying to make a roast dinner.  So I'm trying to use some JML cooker that my mum gave me. It cooks with Halogen light. It's not important. When mum gave it me I had NO clue why. But in this case I'm glad she did. I just didn't want to try it out like this cooking in anger. No matter. So that was going off too.

Turns out the cooker ISN'T broken, but on that day it just refused to start. It was one of those days.

This time with all the lessons I'd learned and all the fun I'd had, the final track chain I measured link by link against the old one THREE times before finally splitting, being ueber careful I didn't pop the rivet, and FINALLY got the chain on, fitted and working. Yes, I've got seven bikes in the garage, all of which are technically rideable to work, but the Genesis, that's my commuting ride, and I needed it fixed. 17.00 and it's all done.

Phew.

What's it like?

Sweeeeeeeeeet.